What To Do With An Alien
by Vovo
Summary: In the middle of a fierce war against an evil sorceress, they have to make an important decision: what to do with the alien they found in their last battle? HUMOR. NEW CHAPTER ADDED!
1. What To Do with an Alien

**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy VIII and its characters are not my property, they belong to Square-Enix. I don't receive any profit from writing this fanfiction.

**Warnings:** PuPu and humor.

**A/N: **Special thanks to** Nightlore **for being an awesome beta!

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**What To Do With An Alien**

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They had been perplexed by an intriguing enemy for some time... It was round and they had seen it carrying things over the sky in different places of the world. It seemed like an UFO and when they found it too close to them, they did what they were taught to do... they fought it.

Following the direction where the UFO had fled after being defeated, they realized that a small blue creature appeared from inside the shattered pieces of his flying saucer.

"Oh, look, it's an alien!" Selphie said excitedly. "How cute!" She tugged Squall's jacket and stared at him with bright big green eyes. "Can we take him?" she pleaded.

"Yeah, can we take it, Squall?" Zell grinned widely as he waited for his leader's answer.

The brunet stared at the other members of his group with a look of disbelief.

"I think we should keep him for analysis," Quistis inspected the blue form of the alien.

"What?!" Rinoa was startled. "Are you thinking of dissecting the poor thing?! I didn't know you were so mean, Quistis."

"No!" the blonde woman defended herself. "I was saying that we should bring him to Garden to study it only!"

"I don't know, guys," Irvine said. "I think we should let it roam free, let nature take care of him."

"He's going to die if we leave him here, Irvine," Rinoa said. "I think we should take care of him and then let him go."

"No!" Selphie exclaimed. "We need to carry him home, take care of him and teach things of our world to him..."

"Yeah!" Zell exclaimed excitedly. "Teach him to fetch things for us!"

"Zell, he's not a dog, he's not an animal, he's like... a human being, but tiny and blue," Selphie said.

"Honey, I think you're exaggerating," Irvine said. "He's not human, I think he's more like an animal, and animals must roam free in nature."

"But it's clear he's out of his natural environment! We should take him with us..."

Squall stared at his friends discussing the matter and rubbed his temples to ease his headache. He sighed deeply and walked to the direction of the blue alien. It was so small and frail. His body was injured and he waved what would be his little hand at him, "Elixir... Elixir please..." his tiny orbs stared fixedly at Squall's direction.

Suddenly the group stopped their debate when they heard a song resound over the air. It was the victory fanfare and they all turned to see the small blue body stretched on the ground, lifeless, a deep cut of a blade in his chest.

"End of discussion," Squall said as he headed to the Ragnarok. "Let's go."

They all stared at each other for a long moment of awkwardness... and then followed their leader in silence.

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**A/N: I think most people who played the game must have opted for giving PuPu the elixirs and receive the unique PuPu card, to collect it or refine it to get good items, but I decided to tell a story of a more tragic fate for the blue alien xD **


	2. What To Do with a Leader

**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy VIII and its characters are not mine and I don't receive any profit from writing this work of fiction.

**A/N:** This is the continuation of what happened in the first chapter. When I had the idea for this story I planned it to be a one-shot, but reading my beta-reader's review made me have an idea for one more chapter. Thank you, **Nightlore**, for your great comments and for always helping me whenever I need. I don't know what would be of me without you, you're so very important to me. Know that PuPu's revenge would never come true if it weren't for you 8D

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**What To Do with a Leader**

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The world was dark and the atmosphere was heavy; the anguish cry of the skies poured over a lifeless body. What was left of PuPu lay over the thick mud, his bluish skin cold, his eyes still in an expression of eternal sorrow. Fate had descended its tyrannical hands upon the little innocent alien. He had come on a mission of peace: searching the territory for exploitable resources and new slaves for his planet. His plans, however, were brutally slayed by the hands of a cruel creature labeled as "teenage human".

Even though his life was taken from him, his story was not yet finished. Mysterious forces would grant him a new chance to live, a new chance to begin, a new chance to have... his revenge.

From a distant land came a wandering yellow creature. It was a lonely chocobo, devastated for having lost all his dear chicobos. It had been a horrible story of drug addiction, gambling and sex compulsion that is too tragic to mention here. In the end, the poor bird had lost its family and its honor.

The chocobo's head was hanging low, almost touching the wet ground as it walked aimlessly, stumbling on the way, when its sight landed on a blue form. The bird took some steps closer, slowly, carefully, until he could take a better view of the tiny creature. Suddenly, sad eyes gained a glint of life and the bird's cold sad heart felt warm. The chocobo thought the alien looked just like his chicobos, except for the fact that it was blue and totally different. The bird's chest started to be filled with a motherly feeling, even though it was a male chocobo. It qwarked lovingly, trying to call the alien's attention, but it didn't take much more than 3 hours for the clever bird to realize the creature from the other planet was very dead.

The chocobo's heart started to clench in sorrow once again and he qwarked loudly in hysteric desperation, but then... then he remembered he had found a Phoenix Down lost in someone's pocket at the last party he had been.

Forgetting all the sorrows of the past for a moment, he cheerfully made use of the reviving item and not long after the blue form of the alien came to life again.

For a moment, PuPu was confused. It didn't take long, however, for him to acknowledge the presence of his feathered savior. He analyzed the yellow creature that looked like an oversized chicken and concluded the bird was the superior living being of that planet.

PuPu thanked the chocobo and received a dumb glare in return, so he lifted his tiny hand and pressed the tip of it to the bird's forehead. In less than a second all the images of PuPu's brutal death was showed to the chocobo, and he felt his heart filling with pure rage. So a cruel teenage in leather had been responsible for taking the life of his dearest blue baby... They stared at each other in understanding. It was time for… Revenge.

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It was a very important moment in the world's history. The group of heroes would soon head in the direction of Lunatic Pandora and finish the third CD of the game. After that they wouldn't be able to go back to their time until they defeated that crazy bitch sorceress Ultimecia and watched hours and hours of a never-ending CG sequence.

They were in the Ragnarok, getting prepared for the battle that would change their lives. Squall stared at the group of young people that fought by his side in arduous battles and shared with him the most important moments of his life. As the time passed, he learned to lik... tolerate them and he was certain he could finally call them frien... acquaintances. They were all gathered in the game room of Ragnarok. Squall couldn't understand why they were spending their time playing a game called "Final Fantasy" when they had more important and realistic tasks at hand, like defeating a Sorceress from the future.

"Guys," he called the group's attention. "Tomorrow we'll head to Lunatic's Pandora, it's better if we have a good rest tonight."

He saw them nodding absentmindedly and kept playing the game.

Squall sighed in frustration, turning to head in the direction of his room. For a moment, however, he stopped in his tracks in deep thought. They would soon face the final battle and, as their leader, he should say something to them.

Determined, Squall turned and walked back to the game room. "Guys," he called the group's attention once more. He waited until all heads turned in his direction, finally paying attention to what would be said, "I need you all ready at 7 AM tomorrow, no delay will be tolerated." Satisfied with his motivational speech, Squall turned again and walked to his room.

Once inside, he closed the door, turned off the lights and went straight to bed. He closed his eyes and felt the first waves of sleep overcoming his senses... until the room felt a little too bright... Squall opened his eyes and saw the lights were on.

_I'm sure I turned off the lights._

He sat on the bed, rubbed his eyes and then looked around. The room was mostly the same, except for the fact that there was a big yellow bird and a tiny blue creature standing in the middle of it.

Squall blinked in confusion.

_I'm sure I killed that alien, why am I seeing him now? Could it be guilt...? _

Squall looked deep into his heart in search for any resentment for having killed a cute and defenseless being... and found none.

_I must be having those stupid dreams. Soon Kiros and Ward will appear and I'll be that moron with the leg cramps. _

The brunet lay on the bed and closed his eyes, but soon opened them again, startled, as he felt something like an electric current course through his body.

_What the..._

The blue alien was beside him on the bed, staring at him with pure deadly anger.

_Fuck off._

Suddenly, Squall cried out in pain and almost jumped out of bed when the furious chocobo pecked him with force.

_It's just a dream, just a dream..._ Squall willed himself to believe there wasn't an alien and a chocobo united to attack him. _I'll just wait here until this stupid dream ends._

xxx

"He's taking long to appear..." Rinoa said in concern as she waited for their leader with the rest of the group.

"Are you sure it's the right time?" Irvine asked in annoyance. "Maybe he said something about 7 PM and we all woke up early for nothing. I'm going back to bed..."

"Maybe he overslept," Selphie said.

"What, Squall?" Zell said, "Never."

"I think he's just making some preparations, he will appear here soon," Quistis reasoned.

"Yeah, that's more like it," Zell agreed.

"But, guys, it's already 7:10, do you think he would take that long, to make preparations?" Irvine asked.

"Yeah, you're right on this one, Irvine," Selphie said. "It's too much time, we've been waiting here for all those 10 minutes. I don't want to wait anymore!" Selphie started to get agitated. "I want to fly, fly to Lunatic Pandora, fight monsters and evil sorceress!" she started to sing.

"I don't think we need to worry," Rinoa said calmly. "Squall will soon be here, I'm sure. Let's just wait a little longer."

They finally nodded in agreement and waited some more.

"What time is it?" Zell asked after a long time.

"7:11," Irvine answered.

"Okay, guys, now I'm getting worried..." Rinoa said. "What if something happened to him..."

"Oh, don't worry, Rinoa," Selphie said. "Nothing bad could happen to him... unless there were more of those big mean aliens still around in Ragnarok..."

"We need to find him!" Rinoa exclaimed in desperation.

"But he could be anywhere in here!" Zell also said in desperation.

"Why don't we look for him in his room?" Quistis suggested.

"Of course he's not in his room, that would be too obvious!" Irvine said.

"Okay, guys," Selphie said. "Let's split up and look for him in the places he will probably be, like the barn or the karaoke room."

Everyone nodded and rushed to find their leader, doing their best, searching for him incessantly for 5 minutes. After that time, however, they met again with an expression of defeat written on their faces.

"I can't believe we really lost him," Zell said.

"We did all we could, guys," Irvine said sympathetically.

"Maybe there is still a way..." Quistis said.

Rinoa wanted to believe her, "There must be a way..."

"Maybe we should just look for him at his room after all..." Selphie said and opened the door in front of her.

The scene that greeted them was one of pure horror: yellow feathers were scattered everywhere and in the middle of the mess lay Squall's static form. His body was covered in blood and marks of a pointy edge—something sharp like a knife or a bird's beak.

Rinoa put his hands over her mouth and whispered in anguish, "Squall..."

"Is he dead?" Zell asked in utter shock.

"Don't say something like that in front of the ladies..." Irvine walked over the room and checked Squall's body for a pulse. "Yeah, he's dead."

Sounds of surprise echoed over the room.

Rinoa walked weakly to where Squall's body was and stared at his peaceful expression graced with a deep frown. "Oh Squall..." She felt tears blind her vision and pressed her face to the young man's chest.

Selphie walked to Rinoa's direction and caressed her back in a soothing manner. "Don't cry, this time comes to everyone. Death is something horrible and perverse, but you don't need to worry anymore, because now he's in heaven, guarded by angels... unless he's in hell, then he's fucked up." That bit of consolation from Selphie made Rinoa cry even harder and her body shook uncontrollably.

"I've never imagined it would end like this..." Quistis stared at the moving scene and was hesitant to take a step closer. Finally, she gathered the courage to sit near Squall and caressed his brown locks affectionately. "Despite your cold demeanor, I always thought you were the right person to lead us, I really believed in you..."

"Why?!" Zell punched the wall in anger. "Why did it happen?" Hot tears started to gather at the corner of the blond's eyes. He punched the wall again. "I trusted you, man! Who will be our leader now?"

"Can I be the leader?" Irvine asked and saw everyone turning to him with disapproving glances. "Well... now that there's a vacant position I thought—"

"How can you say something like that in a time like this?!" Zell asked in anger.

"Yeah, Irvine," Selphie frowned. "You should wait for some minutes!"

"Hey, just kidding, guys!" Irvine laughed amusedly.

"How can you smile in a moment like this when we are sure Squall will never come back?!" Zell yelled.

"Can't we just use a Phoenix Down or something?" Irvine offered. "Here." He threw the item at Squall's body.

A bright light illuminated the place and they all contemplated the sublime moment when Squall opened his eyes.

"Shit, what time is it?" the brunet sat up abruptly and looked around in confusion when he saw several worried gazes directed at him. "Did I oversleep?" he asked in frustration.

They kept looking at Squall for an awkward moment of silence, until Zell decided to speak, "You died."

"What...?"

"Yeah," Irvine said, "We found you dead."

Squall hesitated for a moment before he inspected his own body. It was all covered in blood and then he looked around the room and saw several yellow feathers scattered on the floor. Flashes of the events that took place filled his vision and he felt the current of shock through his body.

_Could it be...?_

"Are you okay?" Rinoa asked in concern.

"What happened?" Quistis inquired.

Squall looked at them and remained in silence for a long time.

_What will I tell them? That I let a stupid alien and an oversized chicken kill me?_

"I just died," Squall said simply.

"You just died?" Selphie questioned him, "Just like that? You just died?"

"Yeah, I just died. People die." Squall lifted himself and brushed the feathers off his clothes. "You shouldn't waste any more time over unimportant details like that, we have a battle ahead." He walked in the direction of the door and then turned his head to look at the group. "Let's go." Squall left the room.

They all looked at each other for a moment and then shrugged, following their leader.

Squall headed for the cabin, trying to focus on their mission. However, he couldn't deny he felt a wave of uneasiness distract his thoughts for a moment. A cold shiver ran down his spine. It was like there would always be something there, something watching him, a blue presence observing his every move… forever…

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**The End.**

**A/N:** I hope you had fun reading :D Reviews are appreciated ;)


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